01.14.2005
seventeen in THREE days
dear diary;
i should be happy because its going to be my birthday soon right? but im not too excited about it. i mean im excited that im going to see my friends & i will finally hang out with sam in the state of california! haha but i dont know today i just feel soooooo bleh. its just one of those days. i miss him sooo much. i really want him to go on monday but then im too scared to ask my dad because i got my hopes up already & i just dont want him to say no. crap im not even sposed to be on the computer because im still on grounding but i have nothing else to do so yea i just decided to update this since i cant do it on xanga because yea i just cant. anyways yea i really really want him to be able to go on monday because that would make me one verrry happy girl (= omigahhd im going to be 17 i feel soo old. gross. ahh i cant wait until i turn eighteen. hmm well yea i can wait but then i cant ya know? lol i dont make sense, do i ever? haha
soo ive stuck to my all of my new years resolutions for once. 1.get better grades ( ive been doing ALL my homework ahead of time and NOT procrastinating although i did get lazy yesterday & i didnt do my physio but whatever it wasnt due anyways =P ) 2.stay off the phone ( hey with this grounding i cant use it anyways so i havent been on the phone at all. only when i talked to maricris yesterday because i havent talked to her in FOREVER. omigahhd still sooo much to catch up on. ) 3.better relationship with my parents ( well this all turned out goood. i talked to both of my parents. & now im more comfortable with just talking to them openly which is awesome. i talked to my daddy-o about jr & he totally understands how i feel. he just didnt like that i lied to him & i basically betrayed his trust. then i talked to my mom. oh boy she got emotional on me & cried. we talked about jr & it was good. we were talking a while & she really opened up to me a lot. like the whole abortion thing which got me crying. i never knew that they tried so hard to force her to have an abortion when they found out she was pregnant with me. it crossed my mind that that might have happened but yea i didnt think it was my grandma & even my aunt who wanted her to have one. i finally understand my mom & why she feels certain ways about my aunt & grandma. because before i would always wonder why & yea i get it now. my mom just really opened up & im happy we talked. now its all better because ive been spending time with my parents & my mom & me talk more now & im comfortable talking to her & im not scared anymore. (= so everything worked out for the better if everythign with jr didnt happen then i dont think i would be that open with my parents right now. i think we would still have that communication barrier. so its good that it all happened. (= )
phew! now that ive got that all out. moving on. so tomorrow im going to be spending time with my tita reeza & grandma its my pre-birthday mini-bash lol. HOPEFULLY sunday MARIA COOPER SCOOPER BOOTY FACE CACA SCOOPER will get to sleep over! if my father would say yes & not use the damn excuse that im grounded even though it makes sense but no i want to spend time with my best buddy in the whole universe because i will be occupied with everyone else the next day! haha that was a mouthful.
mann i am so lonely right now. nobodies online theyre all at the damn moooovies having fun. bleh i want to go out. i want to talk to him!! but noooo hes not here right now. amagahhhd love i missssss you sooooooooooooo much! i cant say it enough. i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! haha thats lots of e's & u's lol. im a dorkface & you know it =P
im listening to gwen stefani. i lovee theee cdee thanks to ingarid butt. lol its gRreat! (= "the shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" yessireeeebub. its straight bananas! okay thats enough blogging for me. bubble pop electric! byeeeee
loveeee;naevon
[edit]
okay so i have nothing else to do so i said hey why not update some more!? lol hmmm so what have i been doing without the use of the phone? well letsee last weekend i went out with my dad & bought marcrizzles present from hollister. i bought her a ***************. yes the name of it is really that long (; hahaha hmm what else did i do. i spent all of saturday with my father. it was fun we went to get breakfast & just hung out the whole day. then sunday i was bored out of my mind. i actually got up to go to church for once without someone having to force me to go. haha hmm after church i was starving & i remember running into the house & heading straight for the fridge looking for something to eat. hahaha i ended up making pizza & eating some menudo. yum. then i got bored & decided to reorganize my entire closet. i took everything out & got rid of clothes i dont use anymore. & i rearranged my racks & shirts & what not. now i can actually walk into my closet like i should have been able to. haha it still jam packed with clothes even though i got rid of soooooo much. i love it its so neat & clean haha what can i say im a neat freak. lol hmmm & then i bugged the hell out of my dad to hang up my memo bored so i could put more pictures up. ooh then i went to blockbuster to rent moooovies. omigahhd my dad cracks me up. he was sposed to be looking for "king arthur" but he kept looking for "king alexander" or "the return of the king alexander" hahahaha i was like hmm i dont think i've heard of that movie. & finally when we were paying he remembered the name & asked the guy if they had it & they did so we rented that instead of wicker park(which btw i still really want to watch because that josh hartnett is hott.) hmm oh yea & we rented LOVE ACTUALLY< verrrry cute movie i love it (= > okay yea so that was my weeekend soo during the week now all i do is homework homework homework, listen to music, write letters, dance around my room like a weirdo hahaha, try to find ways to entertain myself, tv but nothing good is ever on now a days, hmm oh yea & catch up on my sleeep. i lead such an interesting life dont cha think!? haaha yea sure interesting right. okay im done im hyper now & i need to go work off this energy. maybe i'll go take a shower i feel stinky. lol hmm but im lazy. fifteen minutes & i'll go. haha yea right. if i said that to jr right now he'd start laughing at me because i always say im going to go take a shower & i never do until five hours later. hah. okay i shall go & check out myspace since i have nothing else better to do & i dont have anyone to talk to. bleh okay byeeeeeeeeeeee
loveeee;naevon
wow that was one longgggggg blog. hmm the only reason i wanted to edit was because i was going to say i want the book the wedding by nicholas sparks. haha & i never mentioned that til now. haha well yea i want the book its the sequel to the notebook i think. ahh i want to read looks good. yes siree bob i shall go book shopping sometime soon. ahh shitballs i should end this here before i start rambling on. ta ta ra ra sheeeeesh boooooom baaa! hahaha
--8:08 PM
♥naevon