06.16.2005
gone going.
dear diary;
so ive been thinking a lot lately. talked to michelle and marcriz yesterday. good conversations. anyways so im pretty happy with everything. i can look back at stuff and smile because i dont regret anything that happened. i still smile thinking about him. i havent cried over him because theres really nothing to cry about. i mean i am sad about everything being over for now but hey it happens. and im just looking to the future and waiting to see what might happen and what might not happen. if we ever get a chance to be together again then i want to do things right. i dont want to make him wait like i did and if i say im going to do stuff i will follow through. ive learned my lesson. and i dont want to put anyone through that again. im sorry. and i mean that from my heart. i dont feel like i lost you because i still feel connected to you in a weird way. you know what im talking about. heh thinking back to everything i wish i could have done things differently by talking to my parents when i said i would and about prom i wish i would have just thought it all through and not put myself first all the time. now i know my mistakes and im trying to fix them. ive learned a lot about myself through you. and thank you. i dont regret anything we did because im happy it was with you. thank you for everything. i know a lot of this is going to take time and patience is something im going to work with. as for now im going to work things out with my parents. get my priorities straight. and just live life. whatever the future holds, bring it on.
hm its like that quote..if you cry over a guy then he wasnt worth it and the guy who doesnt make you cry is.
so moving on to other things..can anything else get worse? first things with me..and now marcriz. as i said before summer has barely started and sooooooooo much has happened already. i cant wait to see what its like at the end of all this. man im bummed that marcriz cant go to vegas with me =/ i was looking forward to that. oh well we'll just have to make it up with lots of sleepovers and going out. after her three weeks are up. im bummed out that she cant graduate on stage =/ man its okay best friend! youre still graduating. (= just dont be so sad about it. and give your dad time. hes just really bummed because yea you know you told me what happened to him. just please try not to think about it so much even though i know its hard. we'll have our little ceremony here at my house! haha okay? okays! we'll have a mini graduation with our familias plus shaun and jason at my house. lol and then we should have a "vegas" trip. where the whole week we just go out and do whatever. sounds like a plan! haha i love you maria cooper!
--2:36 PM
♥naevon