07.23.2005
you'll always be in my heart.
dear diary;
so ive been bored and was going through a bunch of mae songs, the everglow. all the songs on there i could totally relate to in some way. thats the one cd ive been playing over and over for the past month. i love it.
ive been thinking a lot about him lately. especially after yesterday. i really want to talk to him about everything. but im just waiting until hes ready to talk.
anways so all these songs pretty much describe everything that I have been feeling for the past month about you. a lot of the songs also describe a lot of what I felt for you and what I’m still feeling for you.
Remembering, everything about my world and when you came. Wondering if the change you’d bring means nothing else would be the same. Did you know what you were doing? Did you know? Did you know how you would move me? I don’t really think so. But the night came down and swept us away. And it’s so close but we’re so far away.
Lately I’m alright and lately I’m not scared. I’ve figured out that what you do to me feels like I’m floating on air. I don’t need to now right now. All I know is I believe in the very thing that got us here and now I can’t leave. Say anything, but say what you mean. When you whisper you want this and your eyes tell the same. We are gaining speed. I can barely breathe. Because I’m caught in suspension.
It’s never been more perfect being alive. I’ve never been so satisfied. Oh…I could feel something different for the first time.
Love, it’s a wave I ride that won’t ever reach the shore. Overwhelmed by the tide and wanting nothing more tonight, than to take this time and make it all mine. It’s coming around again…every now and again sometimes I get lost on the wind of a dream.
These days and nights blend into one. But one more night is all I need. To lose control is bliss somehow. All these reckless nights have left me spinning out of control. Is there no cure for sorrow? All these fading lights mislead me, search for something more. Will there be a new tomorrow? Until this empty place is filled, I’ll keep pretending. Knock me down and I’ll get up again. Pain, A remedy that can erase your sting. I’ll keep holding and I’ll keep trying tonight. I feel this fight, it is slowly dying now but I feel painless…
More than words, you keep to yourself. Like a curse that fares thee well. One man came. One truth to tell. All this blame. Hammers your way to hell. I’ve got a feeling it’s not the safest place to start. This heavy breathing. It seems we’re better off breaking hearts. From the beginning dulled down and lost with all its charm. I just want to wake up in someone else’s arms.
This is the countdown. You see time is running out. I tread to stay above the waterline, but never taking off the weights that keep us stuck here. In the comfort and the fear. I’ll never know what we were fighting for. But I’m still looking to break out. I’ve been waiting for something. I’ve been sitting for too long. I’ve been waiting but oh, tonight this one last try goes on and on and on.
Am I alone in this? Never a night where I can sleep myself until day. We must try to figure it out, figure it out. It won’t be that easy, we lost it somehow. I need you here tonight just like the ocean needs the waves.
We made our plans to be unbreakable. Love was all we knew. No insurance for the unthinkable. Blindly getting us through. We’ve been searching for a lifetime, short as it may seem. Riding on the fumes that spark us, while igniting dreams. Mistakes we knew we were making. Mistakes we knew we were making. Don’t think about the chances we’re taking.
Wasted time. I can not say that I was ready for this. But when worlds collide, and all that I have is all that I want, the words seem to flow and the thoughts they keep running. And all that I have is yours. All that I am is yours. So when you say “forever” can’t you see? You’ve already captured me.
We begin. Breathe in. Here’s our chance to go for something. So this is where we win and take the game. No blame. There’s a neon light inside that shines and tearing down the walls in the way. I think that we’ve got what it takes to get this heart start beating again. So take it all the way. Oh and our hearts are on the everglow. Deep inside we both know it. Everything is hanging on this moment. Oh, and our hearts are on the everglow, so just let go and fall into it.
--2:18 PM
♥naevon