July 31, 2005
i want a boy.
dear diary;
i see that everyone is happy with their boyfriends and that makes me sad cuz that was me a couple of months ago. i want a boy but not just for the sole purpose of having one because thats stupid. i want someone who can make me happy and someone i can feel comfortable with. a lot of me still wants him back. i miss him. but i dunno whats going to happen from here since we havent talked yet. i have no idea whats going on with him,i cant read minds. so as ive been saying im just waiting. everyones telling me no because of so many reasons. but in the end ive got to listen to my heart and go with what i feel. why am i not giving up hope on him? because i love him and i believe in him.
so yesterday was sabbys birthday. twas fun [: hung out with the coolest people ever. it was couple day and andrea was my boyfriend (no im not the boyfriend. haha) both of us were talking about how we wanted boyfriends but not just to have them. thats desperate and shallow. she was saying how shes picky and she probably wont have one for a while. thats what she thinks. haha shes going to sac state and is bound to meet guys. i'll get a phone call from her one day saying shes with someone. haha just wait. lol
so theres still that one question ringing in my head, why do you want a boyfriend? ever since my dad asked me that i've been trying to come up with an answer and i still cant. well i guess because i want someone who can be my best friend but also more than that. i want to feel that extra love with that one person. a boyfriend is someone you can talk to and feel comfortable with and be yourself. you can be affectionate with them. a boyfriend is like one of your best friends but with more benefits. lol so i guess those are my reasons for wanting one.
i've had fun with my bestfriend and andrea. those are two girls who i can talk to easily. its funny how you meet someone and you just click right away. i hadnt seen andrea for a year and that lady slept over for two days. lol that was fun tho. we talked a lot about boys and all that other girl junk. :p yea must hang out with those beezies soon. [:
my head hurts. i really should eat soon. but theres too many crazy kidds downstairs. oh boy. lol yea i love my family.
--11:50 AM
♥naevon