August 06, 2005
i hate feeling like this, so alone.
dear diary;
so lately all my friends have been keeping me happy and smiling [: and i love them to pieces. that should be enough, right? but for me it isnt. just not right now. i want more. i miss having that feeling of being liked and liking someone. i miss being able to hold someone and the feeling you get after kissing them and just being with them. it seems like everyone has someone to turn to for that kind of comfort. i feel so alone in that area. and thats what i hate the most, being alone. i mean hey i could go and get with the first guy i meet but i aint working like that. i want the real thing. im not just going to get with someone just to be with them. thats stupid and in the end you'll just be wasting your time and their time. i dunno. gah. someitmes i just want to rewind time and hope that nothing goes wrong. i want what i had with him back. but thats not getting anywhere seeing as we're both avoiding each other. im really just waiting for him to speak up. but if it doesnt happen soon i guess i will, again.
i spoke too soon? its just weird how things can change like that! [just picture me snapping my fingers. haha] oh man what turn of events. fasho homie. ive been ghetto-ized. shit. help me.
--9:40 AM
♥naevon